The Root of Anxiety

Anxiety Is Not the Problem — The Problem is Our Avoidance of our Emotions

So many people feel anxious today. And it’s no surprise why. We live in a fast-paced, pressurized culture that’s obsessed with productivity and achievement. Success is measured by how much we get done, how quickly we climb the ladder, and how well we perform. Slowing down or simply being is often seen as laziness or weakness.

Even when we do find a moment to pause or spend time alone, we rarely allow ourselves to actually be with ourselves. We reach for our phones, scroll social media, put on a podcast, or turn on background music. We’re constantly filling the space, always reaching for something to distract or entertain us.

We’re also surrounded by other people’s lives and opinions 24/7. Social media is full of curated images that make us feel like we’re falling behind or not measuring up. And everywhere we turn, someone is offering advice, tips, or life hacks, which sends the message that there’s always something more we should be doing, that we’re not good enough just as we are. On top of this, a lot of the advice we encounter is contradictory, which only adds to our confusion and anxiety as we try to figure out what’s true.

Over time, all the noise, pressure, and busyness disconnect us from ourselves, and we feel that disconnect deeply. That’s where anxiety comes in. We begin to experience intense sensations in our body, and our mind speeds up. What we’re really feeling is a buildup of everything we’ve been running from, including the feelings we’ve been too afraid to feel. And we’re so afraid of slowing down and sitting in silence, because we’re afraid of being consumed.

So we continue to avoid, distract, and numb out. We push discomfort under the surface and hope it stays there.

But it doesn’t.

In fact, the more we run from ourselves, the more anxious we become. Because anxiety is trying to get us to slow down, pay attention, and reconnect with everything we’ve been avoiding, and when we don’t, the anxiety grows louder.

So What Do We Do?

We heal anxiety by doing the thing we’ve been avoiding: we feel. We get into contact with the sensations in our body. We turn toward our emotions instead of away. We stop trying to analyze or fix them and start feeling them. We build a relationship with our inner world: with our sadness, our anger, our shame, our grief. Because what brings true peace is learning to be with whatever is present for us, and no longer avoiding discomfort.

If you’re tired of running from your feelings, if you’re ready to meet yourself with more compassion and curiosity, I’d love to work with you. You’re welcome to book a free consultation or 1:1 session.

Wishing you well,
Sophia